Positive thinking interferes with healing children’s injuries

September 18, 2023by adminkarl0

Why concentrate on a negative, you ask? Is it not better to make lemonade of sour lemons, look for a spoonful of honey in a barrel of tar and repeat, like a mantra, the words “that does not kill us, makes us stronger”? No, no better.

Now I will tell the brutal truth: if you were not loved in childhood, you were neglected, you were ignored or constantly scolded, and your emotional needs remained unsatisfied, then the last thing you need is to look at the past through pink glasses.

The experience gained in childhood taught you not to trust your own perception and taught you to use unhealthy ways to combat everyday stress. If you try to positively look at the past, you will not be able to understand what damage it was caused to you and what unhealthy habits you have developed.

All these banal ideas about

positive thinking will interfere with developing and drown out the voice of the true „I“. Positive thinking can generally prevent us from healing after disappointment, separation, divorce or heavy loss.

Why positive thinking is just another obstacle on your path

One of the most important reasons is that positive thinking only enhances the prohibitions adopted in our culture to criticize maternal education. Most of the daughters, deciding to tell about their experiences, are confronted by distrust or hear comments in response, belittling the significance of the pain that they had to survive.

“Well, not everything was so bad, you grew up completely normal,” “Maybe it’s time to forget about the past and live the present?“,“ No one had perfect parents, stop complaining „. An attempt to look at the past in a positive way only adds another layer that hides problems from this past.

The atmosphere of constant discontent convinces the child that something is really wrong with him. Having matured, he begins to criticize himself

Why it is worth admitting that in childhood life really threw you a „sour lemon“? And why should I admit how everything was actually gloomy, and to reconcile with the fact that much of the experienced did not make you stronger at all?

1. You are already used to considering abnormal behavior normal. In childhood, we are sure: what is happening in our family is happening in all others. The child’s view of the world is formed by the little world in which he lives. It is the mother and father who show him how to understand and interpret everything that happens in this world. If parents insult the child – for example, they call worthless or insignificance, or sharply criticize his personal qualities, they often justify this with discipline, severity, and the need to “temper character”.

The atmosphere of constant discontent convinces the child that something is really wrong with him. Having matured, he begins to criticize himself. As a result, the habit of explaining all failures and defeats by personal disadvantages, which are actually not or with which you can cope with. While you justify self -criticism with “hardening character” or deny this problem, you will remain in the role of a child.

2. You are used to turning a blind eye to problems or completely deny them. A child who has not received love and support in childhood, more than anything else wants to be “normal” – in order to finally get all this. These two deep needs make the child hope that somehow he can change everything and make his mother love him.

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